Then they go back to Washington and ... do nothing. The machine just keeps chugging along, while the politicians hobnob with billionaires and get caught sexting their interns. Promises? Who, me? Ahem ahem well you know how it is, you can't always get what you want (especially if you don't try, har har har wink wink).
I'm different. I'm only going to make a few promises - ones I can actually keep. It worked when I was raising my children, and I don't see why it can't work here. Then again, Washington politicians don't behave as well as children, so maybe we'll have problems. But my promises aren't to Washington insiders you rub my back and I'll scratch yours my promises are to the people of Iowa. Iowans actually know what a promise is - something you intend to keep, even when times get tough. Something you don't make easily. Something you expect others to respect. I promise you ...
Just to make sure there's no confusion to outsiders (that would be non-Iowans) I'm also going to back up my promises with a money back guarantee. Hold on!, I can hear you saying, I ain't givin' you no money to start with!
True enough (two cents isn't much), so here's the deal. For every one of my promises I break (and it won't be on purpose, but let's get real real here, bad things do happen), I will donate $10,000 to an Iowa charity chosen by Iowans. Up to $100,000 total, since I'm not exactly a rich man (check out my bio to see exactly what that means). We'll even put up a voting page or something so real people can be the judge as to whether or not I keep my promises. None of that oh well let's give Rick a pass on this one he's a good chum you know stuff.
That's it. Real promises, with a real money back guarantee. Not your ordinary politician ... I'm proud to be an Independent.
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If you have an account and are signed into it you can vote on each Promise below. You can even change your mind (that's what I do when presented with new information - what do you do?), but you can't vote more than once. You can also click through the title and see the comments other people have left on the Promise, vote on them (!), and leave your own comment (to be voted upon).
I will be friendly to both Republican and Democratic senators.
Justification:
I will not support war, without a declaration of war.
Justification:
When was America's last war? I was thinking it was World War II, but full confession – I had to look it up. And most Iowans will probably have to do the same.
I will never introduce an earmark. No hard earmarks, no soft earmarks.
Justification:
I will vote against any legislation that exempts politicians from its effects.
Justification:
I promise not to meet with any lobbyists.
Justification:
I promise not to vote in favor of any piece of legislation until I have read the actual version of the bill I will be voting on.
Justification:
I have read plenty of lawyer produced multi-page business documents. It isn't my favorite reading, but it was my job as CEO to do it, and in the end it was always useful. Likewise it is the job of a politician to read the bill s/he is voting on. If that is impossible, I will assume it's a bad bill and I won't vote for it.
Why not? I like free cake, perhaps you do, too?
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